


help me polarize.

by maximoffed



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, clint and steve p much are her new fathers, lots of angry and sad wanda, spider-man will make an appearance at some point, takes place during civil war, um yeah read the notes inside honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximoffed/pseuds/maximoffed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year since Sokovia. The New Avengers are torn apart and Wanda tries comes to terms with a certain android abandoning her for the opposite side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	help me polarize.

**Author's Note:**

> wow i haven't posted anything here in a while. okay so basically i've been writing this for a few months now. like i started this before we really had a whole lot of information on the plot of civil war. so, as you read, you'll notice some of the things in this fic won't really match up with the info we have now (such as there being no superhero registration act in the movie, but instead the 'sokovian accords'). basically in this i'm taking stuff from the actual civil war comics and bending and twisting for the mcu. some things are completely made up while other things are from the comics, or even from what we've seen in trailers. this also isn't all i have written, i much more so if you all want more, let me know. sooo enjoy, i suppose!
> 
> (also yes i know i have other fics [tamed & glass heart hymn] that i should update, so hey if you yell at me in comments to update them, maybe i will! also note that i may add more relationships as we go on [maybe a bit of stucky wink wonk] and add in more characters.)

Wanda didn’t have much time. Soon enough, the captain would be looking for her and tell her to head back to base. She would have to make this meeting as quick as possible. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest as she flew above the forest. He told her to meet her by the pond. So far, she hadn’t seen a pond. The Sokovian worried that maybe she wouldn’t find the spot and she wouldn’t get to see him. Seeing him every now and then was the only thing that was keeping her in tact. She missed being able to see him all the time, but some things had to be sacrificed during a war. Wanda lived through war, she knew about sacrifice, but this was becoming too much. With him by her side, she actually felt happy for once. But now, she’s back to feeling alone and...not right. Wanda felt as if she could blow up at any moment, without warning. He had worked so hard to keep her together. It would all be for nothing if she couldn’t learn to control herself.

The brunette sighed when she caught sight of a small pond below her. Quickly, she made her way to the ground to see him already waiting for her. Leaves and twigs crunched underneath her as her feet made contact with the ground.

“Wanda,” Vision greeted with a small, soft smile. “I am glad you came.”

For a few moments, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she peered inside his mind. She could feel he was conflicted. Very conflicted. He felt he didn’t belong where he was right now, but knew he couldn’t come back now. Wanda herself appeared in his thoughts. He thought about the nights they spent together talking about her life and him asking her questions about love.

Wanda was shut out after a quickly after that. Shocked, she staggered backwards and held her head. It hurt her when he did that.

“I’m sorry,” he replied quietly, not looking at her. “When you make that connection, it makes it harder for me to leave you again.”

Her eyes darted up to him. “So don’t,” she replied. “Why are you on Stark’s side? I know for a fact you don’t agree with him. I not only see it in your mind, but I see it in your eyes.”

Vision sighed. He turned his back to her for a moment, his golden cape billowing in the wind. That question had been asked too many times now. She screamed it the moment he left her one night to join Stark. She asked it through tears after begging him to come back. Wanda knew it broke his heart each time she asked it. However, she also knew he was holding back. No longer was she going to take his same old answer. The Sokovian wanted the truth this time.

“Wanda-” he began.

She cut him off right there. “No, don’t tell me I’m wrong and that you agree with Stark. I want the truth, Vision. Please.” Wanda took a step forward. “I think I deserve that much.”

Vision finally turned around to face her. Her eyes pleaded with him.

“Are you eating enough?” he asked her. The synthezoid took a step forward. “You still look pale. Are you taking care of yourself?”

Wanda scoffed. There he went again, avoiding her question. Arms folded over her chest. “Things have been rough lately. You know that. I’ve been trying my best.”

When Pietro died, Wanda didn’t take care of herself. Her first two weeks at the Avengers base, she locked herself in her room. The only one who could get in was Vision, so he phased through her door every morning to bring her a meal. Most she ignored, but a couple times she would take a couple spoonfuls of cereal or pick at a piece of toast. She at least drank the water he gave her. Wanda became ill looking. He found her one night passed out in her bathroom and he rushed her to the medical wing. She was given an IV and put on suicide watch. During her days in the medical wing, he stayed by her side, making sure she ate all her food. He was the only person she could tell was comfortable being by her. Everyone else was always afraid she’d lose control and kill everyone. Vision was the only one who really trusted her.

When she was released from the medical wing, Vision still tried to make sure she took care of herself. Slowly, Wanda got better.

“I know you have been,” Vision replied. “How’s your brother?”

Wanda’s face grew sad at the mention of her brother. Did he really have to bring him up? “He still has not woken up. I’m… I’m starting to think he won’t.”

A few months after Sokovia fell, Wanda was finally shown Pietro. They wanted to wait until he finally stabilized. He was being repaired in Helen Cho’s machine. She cried tears of joy that day and refused to leave his side. Days went by, weeks went by, and then it became months. He still had not woken up and no one knew what was going on. Pietro was stabilized. He had a beating heart. When they placed him in the hospital bed, they said it would be any day. Wanda tried making a mental connection with him, but all she could find was blackness. Nothing happened.

“He will,” Vision matter-of-factly. “I know he will, Wanda. You have to be patient.”

“I am done being patient!” Wanda replied. Hands were now at her sides, clenching themselves into tight fists. “I wait all day and all night for him to wake up. When they showed me him, I thought I finally had him back.”

The synthezoid stepped forward, closing the space between them. He went to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shook him off.

“Answer my question,” she said through her teeth. “Stop avoiding it, or I’ll force my way in.”

Vision’s jaw clenched. “You’ll hurt yourself doing that.”

“That’s fine.”

He sighed. Wanda knew he would never want her to hurt herself. All she needed was his true answer, and then she’d leave him alone. Maybe.

“Wanda,” Vision finally said. “I’m doing this to protect you. That’s as much as I can say.” He was still holding back. The brunette could see it in his eyes, and he knew she could tell. “I don’t want to tell you any more. It’ll only make you angry.”

The Sokovian scoffed. “Well, now you have to tell me. Please. I just want your real answer and then I’ll stop asking. Then you can go running back to Stark and I’ll never bother you again.”

He shook his head quickly. “Wanda, please don’t be difficult with me.”

“ _Just tell me_!”

“Fine!” He put both hands up as a sign of surrender. Slowly, he reached forward and took her hand. For once, she allowed him to. “You are very powerful, Wanda. Your powers have grown stronger since Sokovia. After the mind games you played with Stark, he still has a hard time believing you have turned over a new leaf.” Gently, Vision squeezed her hand. “You know why Stark and Rogers are fighting, right?”

Wanda nodded. “Of course. The Superhero Registration Act. The government wants superheroes to register themselves so they can interfere with us. Determine when they can call us in, and put us on a payroll. Tony thinks that is a good idea. Rogers does not.” She paused momentarily. “And now with Bucky, Steve’s trying to protect him from Tony.”

Vision sighed once again. “Yes, precisely. Well, Tony also believes you are a threat. They’re watching you. If you lose control, like you have in the past, they’ll arrest you. If it were to ever come to that, I want to be able to protect you.”

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “Protect me how? How would you protect me, Vision?”

“I would make sure they do not do anything to harm you. Make sure you are treated fairly.”  Vision rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “I do not know exactly what they would do to you. But, I want to be there to protect you. I don’t want them hurting you.”

Wanda looked down at their hands. It was no surprise that Tony had a vendetta against her, but were they really afraid she would lose control like some wild animal?

“That is the truth?” she asked, her eyes meeting his.

He nodded. “Yes, that is the truth. I care about you, Wanda. It was not easy leaving you. It never is.”

“So come back,” she replied quietly, eyes going back to their hands.

“I can’t. This is the only way.” With his free hand, he put a hand under her chin to gently lift her head. “Please, take care of yourself, Wanda.” He pressed his lips against the top of her head, keeping them there for a moment as he took in the sweet scent of her hair. “Goodbye.”

Their hands parted as he backed away from her. The kiss should have made her feel better, but she only felt angry. She was capable of protecting herself. If they came for her, she could hold them off. Vision didn’t have to take responsibility of her. He didn’t have to leave her if he wanted to protect her. If he was that bent of becoming her protection, he could still easily do it while siding with Steve.. The two of them could go somewhere where no one would ever find them. He didn’t have to leave her.

“Fine, just go!” Wanda yelled. “Go run back to Stark, the man who wants to arrest me!” And here came the anger that only made her see red. “Just leave me! I don’t care anymore.” When he simply stared at her in awe, she grew even more angry. Red mist flowed from her fingers. Without even thinking, she began throwing small shots of red energy at his feet. “Go away! I don’t want to see you anymore. Leave!”

With a hurt look on his face, Vision began to levitate. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before flying away.

And just like that, Wanda was alone again.

* * *

 

The Sokovian was jolted awake. Her breaths were short and shallow. For a moment, she had to try and remember where she was. Okay, right. The medical wing. Pietro’s room. She blinked a few times before turning her head to look at her twin. Still unconscious. Her hand reached for his, gently squeezing it. As she tried to sit up straighter, she realized just how much her back hurt from falling asleep in such a weird position. Oh well. As long as she was by Pietro’s side, it was worth it. Wanda promised herself and him that she would be here when he woke up. Even though that with each day the chances of him waking up grew slimmer, she still refused to leave him at night. She didn’t care how many times people would tell her to go back to her room or go get something to each. None of them understood what she was going through. They didn’t get it.

“Oh, Pietro,” she whispered. “I need you to wake up. Can you not hear me? I need you now more than ever.”

A couple days had passed since her last meeting with Vision. Since then, he hadn’t tried to contact her at all. Whatever. Not like she cared.

_ Please come back… _

The tears could not be held back any longer. Wanda rested her head on Pietro’s chest and let the tears fall from her eyes. “Please wake up. Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up.” Her chest heaved as each sob escaped her. Hand curled tighter around his, feeling how cold they were beginning to feel now. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be happening.

A hand was on her shoulder. Wanda jumped slightly. “Pietro?” she asked.

“Not Pietro,” a familiar voice said. She lifted and turned her head. “Are you okay, kid?”

Clint Barton. One would think that she would hate the person her brother sacrificed himself for. In truth, she did hate Clint Barton at one point. Then he took her in. He allowed her a place to stay while she mourned, and while the Avengers base was being built. He gave her a taste of what it was really like to have a happy family again. Laura Barton was so sweet to her. When Wanda awoke in the middle of the night with nightmares, she’d be the first one to come running in. While Clint held her, Laura handed her hot chocolate and offered to talk about what she dreamt about. Their children were sweethearts. They looked to Wanda like an older sister. She taught them Sokovian games she would play with the kids on her block. They’d show her their favorite movies. A part of Wanda wished she could stay there for the rest of her life. But, duty called, and Wanda was sent to the Avengers base.

The archer pulled up a chair and sat next to her. “Wanda, what’s wrong? Why are you crying, kid?”

Wanda wiped her eyes. “Pietro. He won’t wake up. He starts to feel colder. He...He’s leaving me again.” She hiccupped and sniffled. “I want to go.”

“Go where, Wanda?” Clint asked her.

“To your home. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to be with Pietro anymore?”

Wanda shook her head. A few tears ran down her cheeks. “That is not it. I don’t want to do this whole Avengers thing anymore. I can’t do it.”

The archer put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. “You can do this, Wanda. I know you can. You’re a brave kid. The bravest kid I know.” He sighed. “I think things are weird right now. The team you had briefly is split in half. Everything will work itself out. It always does, somehow.”

Wanda gulped. “He saved my life when we were 10.” She closed her eyes. The memories of that day still felt so vivid, as if it happened just yesterday. Clint shifted to get a better look at her. “When the bomb hit our apartment, I was frozen in place as our parents fell into the hole. And then I tried going after them. Just as I was about to jump in after them, Pietro grabbed my hand. I struggled against him. I was sobbing and screaming. He pushed me under the bed first. Then he climbed under and I put my head between his chest and the floor as the ceiling began to cave in. He held on tightly to me. He never let go during the days we were trapped.” A sound that sounded like a whimper left her as she thought about it. “He saved me. I would have died if he wouldn’t have grabbed me.”

“He’s a great brother,” Clint said quietly. Was he getting choked up? “I was prepared to die that day when I saw the jet approaching us. I was ready to shield the kid from those bullets. In my head, I said goodbye to my family. Then I saw your brother standing there, his shirt soaked with blood. I didn’t even say anything.” Okay, he was definitely getting choked up now. “What could I say? The kid who hated me had saved my life. I was speechless.” He then chuckled, but not a chuckle that was full of life. It was dry, more like a scoff. “Then I thought, ‘How do I tell his sister about this? How do I face her after this?’” His arm around her tightened. “Those bullets didn’t kill me, but I knew you would.”

Wanda actually smiled a little as the tears dried on her cheeks. “I did want to kill you. Then I actually met your family. They are nice.” She took a shaky deep breath. “Why would I want your family to lose you?” She paused for a moment. “Honestly, I still wonder why he sacrificed himself for you.”

“He didn’t know I had a family.”

“I know. I knew, though.”

Clint’s arm loosened around her and he turned to face her all the way. “Wait, you knew? How did you know?”

Wanda actually chuckled before tapping her temple with her index finger. “I can read minds, remember? When I went around showing everyone their fears, I first had to see them. I had to know what I was conjuring up. I saw that you are afraid of losing your family. You are afraid of someone targeting them and killing them.” The Sokovian took a deep breath. “When I actually met your family, though, I realized I was being selfish.”

“Well, thanks for not killing me.”

“Thank you for taking me in.”

Clint smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head, like her father used to. “You’re a good kid, Wanda. I always knew you were.”

* * *

 

Breakfast that morning was awkward. It had been ever since the sudden split within the team. Steve looked stressed as he simply stared at his cup of coffee. Bucky didn’t have anything in front of him. He simply followed Steve’s lead and stared at his cup of orange juice. Sam was quiet as he cooked pancakes. Wanda didn’t say anything. She simply sat there, looking around and waiting for someone to break the awkward silence. Before the team split up, Natasha would be the one making jokes all through breakfast. Wanda now regretted not joining in more on those breakfasts.

A plate of pancakes was set in front of Wanda by Sam. She really wasn’t all that hungry, though.

“How’s Pietro doing?” Steve asked. Why did everyone ask her that when they knew the answer already?

Wanda shrugged. “Not so good. He might have to be put back in the machine.” She didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. Simply, the Sokovian looked down at her food. It reminded her how her and Pietro had to share their food when they lived on the streets. They would split whatever they had in half. Pietro sometimes would try to give his rations to her, but she always refused. When Wanda was first given a big plate of food at the Barton’s home, she couldn’t eat it. It was too much. First, she had split everything in half which earned her some looks. Then she simply picked at the food, hardly even making a dent. She kept doing that until Laura caught on and gave her small portions that she slowly added more to each day to help her adjust.

“He’ll get better,” Sam replied. “Just gotta give it some time.”

The brunette shook her head. She had been waiting long enough.

“So, Cap,” Sam said as he cut apart his pancakes, “what’s the plan for today?”

Steve sighed. “Training will start at noon.”

“No punching in Stark’s face?”

“No,” Steve said a little quickly. “We got a lot of people coming after us right now. I say we lay low for now, get ourselves ready for a bigger fight. They’ll come after us eventually. We got Bucky. For now, that’s all that matters.”

Bucky seemed to smile at that. When they found Bucky and got him back to base, Steve had Wanda go through his mind to see what was still jumbled. As she went through his mind, she found that he still felt lost. Bucky knew that he knew Steve, yet also couldn’t pinpoint certain memories with him. Sometimes he got close to believing those false memories that Steve was a bad guy. When he got that way, Wanda was able to go in and reassure him that those memories were not real. They formed a small connection. When he found he couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t, he went to her, begging for her to show him what was real.

Wanda gave up on eating breakfast. “I am going to see Pietro.” The brunette stood up and placed her plate on the kitchen counter. “I will see you all at training.”

* * *

 

Pietro hardly looked like himself. He had lost quite a bit of weight. The color from his face had completely drained. It hurt her to see him like this, but he had gotten so close to waking up before. She knew it couldn’t have been a false alarm. He was going to wake up. She knew he would. The female twin just had to remain patient as she awaited the day her twin brother would come back to her. It would happen, whether it was tomorrow or three months from now.

“Good morning, brother,” she greeted, taking a seat next to him. Her delicate fingers immediately curled around his cold hand. “You are missing so much. Actually, maybe it’s better you are missing all this. Ever since we got Bucky, things have just been awkward.” Her finger squeezed his hand. “No one really wants to talk. Steve is hurting because Natasha left.” Wanda shook her head slowly. “This does not feel like a team anymore. I… don’t even know if I am on the correct side. I don’t know what to think. I suppose I stay with Steve because I know he’ll protect me, and everyone else.” A grimace formed on her pale face. “I do not want to know what Stark has up his sleeves. He wants Bucky. The government is after us now, and then there’s HYDRA…”

There was so much going on. Wanda couldn’t even keep track of it all anymore. Each day she awoke, she didn’t know who would be attacking that day. It was tiring.

Wanda let out a sigh. “I wish things were much simpler. I wish you were here.”

* * *

 

Training was boring without Vision. The two were previously assigned to each other as partners. He was gone now, though, and Wanda now spent her time working on her magic. Since Sokovia, she really had gotten more powerful. The brunette learned how to manipulate the gravity around her and use her magic to propel herself upwards. Vision had taught her all the basics to flying, given he was quite the expert. And with the help of Sam Wilson, she learned to relax herself and stagger herself when using her powers. Now she simply practiced on dummies, making sure she never got too out of control. Apparently the government was keeping an eye out on her. They believed her to be dangerous and wild.

Part of Wanda wanted to show them just how dangerous and wild she could get. That would only make this whole situation even worse.

Wanda took a step back from the dummies, eyes now going to Steve. He was hitting a punching bag over and over again. She could sense how betrayed he felt. He didn’t really trust anyone now, except for Sam and Bucky. The Sokovian was okay with not being on the list of people Steve trusted. There were many reasons not to trust Wanda. She was happy he was smart enough to know that. However, she also felt bad for him. Natasha was gone now and practically everyone was out to get him because of Bucky. It seemed everyone was an enemy of Steve Rogers nowadays.

She sighed. Man, she missed Natasha too. Wanda was now the only girl on the team and she missed when Natasha would come to her room and have a “girl night” with her. That usually meant the redhead would barge in and demand to know the latest details on her relationship with Vision. Wanda thought it was funny. As a child and teenager, she didn’t have friends that were girls. It was always her and Pietro, and it was kind of weird to talk to him about boys that she liked. Natasha helped her have a little sense of regular teenage feelings. Sometimes Wanda would give in and act like a complete teenage girl. It was fun. Now she really missed those nights.

Wanda blinked a couple times after realizing she was staring into the ground. It was time to get back to work. Her body turned toward the dummy in front of her. Before letting magic flow from her hands, the girl took a couple deep breaths to calm her mind. She then let the red magic flow from her and wrap around her wrists and up her forearms. Fingers contorted as she pushed it forward. The magic built up into a ball that was then shot forward to attach itself to the dummy’s head. Fingers curled and she brought her hand back quickly. The head was ripped from it and fell a few feet away from her.

There was a tap on her shoulder. Wanda turned to see Sam Wilson handing the head back to her.

“Poor guy never stood a chance,” he joked.

Wanda took the head and smiled a little. “He had it coming.” She walked back to the dummy and reattached its head. “There. Good as new.”

“So, how’s it going?” Sam asked her.

The Sokovian turned to look at him, her answer not coming right away. “I’m okay.”

“Want to have another session tonight?”

Wanda nodded her head. Every few nights she met with Sam. He had concluded she might have PTSD after the events in Sokovia. And after her bout of starving herself and ending up in the medical wing, it became required she get help. At first, she didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t think it would help. Talking at first only made her sadder and more angry. Sam helped her control those emotions, though. Now she enjoyed the sessions. He related to her. He didn’t treat her like she could blow up at any moment.

“Yes, that would be nice,” she replied. “Thank you. Your room after supper?”

“Sounds good.”

* * *

 

“How have you been feeling lately?” Sam started out. He sat across from her in a chair in the middle of his room. Arms were folded against his chest. When Wanda shrugged her shoulders at him, he shook his head. “Wanda, I need more than that. You know this can’t work if you don’t open up.”

“I know,” she replied quickly. “I don’t know. I guess… angry.”

Sam nodded his head. “And why are you angry?”

“Many reasons.” Wanda wasn’t sure where to start right away. She wanted to yell about how Vision was being so unfair to her, but that was something she felt didn’t need to be shared right now. So, she chose something different. “Pietro should be awake by now. The doctors and the nurses and even Helen Cho said he would wake up soon. That was… months ago. All I have gotten from him was a little twitch in his finger.” Wanda shook her head. “He’s still not here. I cannot wait any longer.”

Sam sighed. “I know it’s hard waiting. You have to be patient, though. Let the nurses and doctors do their jobs.”

The Sokovian stood up, quickly turning her back to Sam. “That’s what everyone says. They tell me to be patient. No one gets it. They don’t get what his absence has done to me.”

“What has it done?”

Wanda spun on her heel to turn back to him. “Don’t act stupid. You know what it’s done to me. I tried to starve myself. Hell, I even tried going down with Sokovia so I could be with Pietro again. And it would have worked if Vision never would have saved me.”

Sam looked down for a moment before standing up too. “He’ll come back, Wanda. No one is just going to give up on bringing him back. Maybe it’ll be tomorrow, or maybe it’ll be a year from now, but you have to stay strong. Not just for him, but also for yourself. You need to get better for yourself.” When Wanda let out a huff, he sighed. “Take a seat, Wanda. Let’s go through the breathing exercises.”

She nodded her head, but instead of sitting in the chair, she moved it over and sat on the floor. Sam did the same thing. They sat across from each other, legs criss-crossed and backs elongated. Sam began instructing her on when to inhale and exhale. When she got a rhythm down, he instructed her to focus on one thing. She had to think about that one thing and that one thing only and not let anything else get in. Usually she focused on Pietro, but today it was Vision she focused on. Wanda focused on the way he used to wrap his arms around hers whenever he was upset. She focused on his gentle smile and that charming laugh of his. While she focused, red magic began to pour from her hands. It was soft, though. It trickled around her and Sam, not causing harm to either of them. Wanda could control how much of it filled the room. When she knew there was too much, she managed to pull it back in case something were to get out of hand.

That was when she heard someone in her mind.

“ _ Wanda? What are you doing? _ ” It was Vision. Wanda hadn’t realized she managed to reconnect with his mind while she focused on him. Hell, she didn’t even know she was capable of that.

“ _ Vision… _ ” Wanda said to him telepathically. “ _ You’re...here. _ ”

“ _ You can’t do this.  _ How  _ are you even doing this? _ ” He sounded concerned.

“ _ I don’t know. Vision, please… _ ”

And just like that, Wanda was shut out. Her magic filled the room quickly and then completely dissipated. Wanda gasped and fell back, holding her head.

“Whoa, that wasn’t supposed to happen,” Sam said. “What  _ did _ happen?” He didn’t look or seem hurt. That was good. Wanda hadn’t hurt him.

“I… don’t know,” she replied. “I think that’s enough. I’m gonna go back to my room.”

As she stood up to leave, Sam followed her. “Are you sure? Wanda, if there’s something bothering you-”

“Sam, I thank you for helping me out, but for now... I just want to be alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> soo there ya go! yeah, obviously pretty different from the info we have now but as i go i'll try to update it some more. i'll try and include some scenes from the trailers. kudos & comments are really appreciated, they make me feel good c:


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